Signs of (Returning) Life

I want to make something abundantly clear here on this blog: getting out from under food addiction is HARD. I don't, in any way, mean to insinuate that this has been easy and that anyone who is still struggling is weak or a failure or in any way less-than people who are in the process of recovering. Including me. I mean, I once got out of bed in the middle of the night and drove to an all-night McDonald's in the middle of a thunderstorm to buy a large Coke and an ice cream cone because I was having such a bad sugar fit. I might still be doing that kind of nonsense if I hadn't gotten to a point where it was either get myself together or, quite literally, die. So I am in no position to judge anyone.

Whew! Now that we have that out of the way, I want to talk about a very encouraging event that transpired today. I am housesitting for a friend who lives in the large metropolitan area that is near my home. This gives me all kinds of options for food delivery that aren't available in my small town. I'm tired from a weekend filled with much more activity - in much hotter conditions - than I'm used to these days. So I decided to eat in this evening. (Food delivery apps now have the driver drop your food off at the door then you get a text that it's there. You don't have to talk to ANYONE. At all!)

One of my favorite take out food items which is compliant with my plan is lettuce cups. If there's anywhere to get them near my usual home, I'm not aware of it. But this is a land just flowing with lettuce cups! Ground chicken, chopped peppers and scallions, and crisp, cold lettuce leaves as far as the eye can see!

But there's a certain other something that restaurants which serve lettuce cups tend to throw in with their takeout orders. Something I forgot about all together.

I seriously just ordered lettuce cups! Why would I need 5 fortune cookies?

When I first saw them, I had a moment of panic. But then I ate my dinner and didn't really give them another thought. They're just sitting there. Along with the sugary soda the Instacart shopper accidentally brought me instead of the kind I ordered. And it's fine. A friend is going to take the soda. If she wants the cookies, I'll give them to her. If not, I'll find someone else who wants them or throw them away. 

I can't speak to any other addictions, but I know that with sugar, there is a physical component. I think this shows me that I'm over that particular hump. And right now, I have a handle on the other components. It's keeping up with the work to maintain that handle which is key, of course. But I'll take my victories where I can. 

Since I've been on a music kick recently, I'll leave you with this, which sums up my current energy and mindset:

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